i've been going through a lot of stuff lately and i'm not sure how to handle it all. the process is literally causing so much chaos in my that i'm extremely confused even by simple gestures like a back rub for the extremely tense shoulder muscles I have. I know that in the end this is all for the best and i'll be able to not have to walk through a dark forest and worry about myself. It all needs to be said and addressed. I just feel so manic these days. I'm extremely happy and snuggly or just horrid. I can't wait for all this emotional crap to be done with.

on a side note it's a good learning experience for me to see how loved I am and that i actually have real friends.